Children say wonderful, innocent things, please share your stories so that everyone can enjoy them, they are just so precious and help to brighten up the day. Please use the email form and I will post them.  Sally

The following statements about the bible were written by children.  They have not been retouched or corrected. Incorrect spelling has been left in.

Jesus was born because mary had an immaculate  contraption.

The epistels were the wives of the apostles.

One of the oppossums  was st. Matthew who was also a taximan.
 
St. Paul cavorted to christianity, he preached holy acrimony which is another  name for marraige.

Christians have only one spouse. This is called  monotony.

Definition of Grandparents by  8 year olds. 

When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don't have television, because they are the only grown ups who like to spend time with us.


They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we've acted bad.

Grandparents don't have to be smart.

They have to answer questions like "why isn't God married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?".


How do you decide who to marry?
(written by kids)


What would you do on a first date that was turning sour?
Craig (age 9)
"I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns."

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Lynnette (age 8)   "Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough." 

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
Pam (age 7)   "When they're rich."


KRISTEN (age 10)  "No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. "

Curt (age 7)  "The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that."

General Humour

Granddaughter 5 1/2 told me "that she was reading in her head!"

Granddaughter 5 1/2 walking up the stairs to her bedroom turned around to her grandmother and said "I'm stressed!" 

Granddaughter 5 1/2 turned to her grandmother and said "we are going down in an overlater", meaning elevator.

Husband and I playing a game of scrabble.  He said that he didn't like his tiles.  Quick as a flash 4 1/2 year old granddaughter turned to him and said in a very serious voice "Life's tough!"

Granddaughter (age 5)  I was sitting on her bed doing her hair and told her that she was getting tall and soon I would have to stand.  She said "When I'm 6 I'll be very tall and you're still be alive to cook my dinner."

SALLY (aged approximately 4)  My brother attended a school where the front paddock had sheep.  One day my father took me to visit him and he wanted me to go into the paddock.  I turned to Dad and said "the sheeps might bite off my knees!"

GRANDDAUGHTER (5 1/2  )Looking at herself in a mirror said "I can see my afflication."

GRANDDAUGHTER (5 1/2) Turned to grandfather and asked, "now that I'm 5 1/2 can I have heels?"

JACK (age 6)   Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.

HENRY (age 8) My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science.

REAGAN (age 10) When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there's a tornado.

GRANDDAUGHTER  (age 5)  I don't know who changes the weather so quickly!

DJ (age 4)  Stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: 'How much do I cost?'

VICKI (age 8) Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it.

JACK (age 6)  Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead.
 
DANIEL (age 9) When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath again,  somewhere there's a tornado.

REAGA (age 10)  Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy.
If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the winter.