Menstruation: Preparing your preteen for her period
Wonder how to introduce the subject of menstruation? What to tell your granddaughter about periods? How to ease her anxiety? Here's help covering the bases.
Most girls begin to menstruate when they're about 12, but periods are possible as early as age 8. That's why explaining menstruation early is so important. But menstruation is an awkward subject to talk about — especially with preteen girls, who seem to embarrass more easily than any other creatures on the planet.
So what's the best way to approach this ticklish topic?
Talk early and often
If your granddaughter asks questions about menstruation, answer them openly and honestly. Provide as many details as you think she needs at the time. It's OK to let your granddaughter set the pace — but don't let her avoid the topic entirely. If she's not asking questions as she approaches the preteen years, it's up to you to start talking about menstruation.
Don't plan a single tell-all discussion. Instead, talk about the various issues — from basic hygiene to fear of the unknown — in a series of short conversations. Consider it part of a continuing conversation on how the human body works. Remember, your granddaughter needs good information about the menstrual cycle and all the other changes that puberty brings. If her friends are her only source of information, she may hear some nonsense and take it for fact.
How to start talking
To introduce the subject of menstruation, you might ask your granddaughter what she knows about puberty. Clarify any misinformation and ask what questions she might have. It may be helpful to time your conversations with the health lessons and sex education your granddaughter is receiving in school — or you could broach the subject before a routine doctor's appointment. You can tell your granddaughter that the doctor may ask her whether she's gotten her period yet. Then ask if she has any questions or concerns about menstruation.
Girls might prefer to learn about menstruation from a female family member, but sometimes that's not possible. If you're a single father and you're not comfortable talking about menstruation, you might delegate these conversations to a female relative or friend. The key is to make sure the information is relayed somehow.
Practical advice preferred
The biology of menstruation is important, but most girls are more interested in practical information about periods. Your granddaughter may want to know when it's going to happen, what it's going to feel like and what she'll need to do when the time comes.
What is menstruation? Menstruation means a girl's body is physically capable of becoming pregnant. Each month, one of the ovaries releases an egg. This is called ovulation. At the same time, hormonal changes prepare the uterus for pregnancy. If ovulation takes place and the egg isn't fertilized, the lining of the uterus sheds through the vagina. This is a period.
Does it hurt? Many girls have cramps, typically in the lower abdomen, when their periods begin. Cramps can be dull and achy or sharp and intense. Exercise, a heating pad or an over-the-counter pain reliever may help ease any discomfort.
When will it happen? No one can tell exactly when a girl will get her first period. Typically, however, girls begin menstruating about two years after their breasts begin to develop. Many girls experience a thin, white vaginal discharge about one year before menstruation begins.
What should I do? Explain how to use sanitary pads or tampons. Many girls are more comfortable starting with pads, but it's OK to use tampons right away. Remind your granddaughter that it may take some practice to get used to inserting tampons. Stock the bathroom with various types of sanitary products ahead of time. Encourage your granddaughter to experiment until she finds the product that works best for her.
What if I'm at school? Encourage your granddaughter to carry a few pads or tampons in her backpack or purse, just in case. Many school bathrooms have coin-operated dispensers for these products. The school nurse also may have supplies.
Will everyone know that I have my period? Assure your granddaughter that pads and tampons aren't visible through clothing. No one needs to know that she has her period.
What if blood leaks onto my pants? Offer your granddaughter practical suggestions for covering up stains until she's able to change clothes, such as tying a sweatshirt around her waist. You might also encourage your granddaughter to wear dark pants or shorts when she has her period, just in case.
Everyone's different
Your granddaughter may worry that she's not normal if she starts having periods before — or after — friends her age do, or if her periods aren't like those of her friends. But menstruation varies with the individual. Some girls have periods that last two days, while others have periods that last more than a week. It can even vary this drastically from month to month in the same girl. The amount of blood lost each month can vary, too, usually from 4 to 12 teaspoons (about 20 to 60 milliliters).
It's also common for girls to have irregular periods for the first year or two. Some months might even go by without a period. Once your granddaughter's cycle settles down, teach her how to track her periods on a calendar. Eventually she may be able to predict when her periods will begin.
Schedule a medical checkup for your granddaughter if:
Her periods last more than seven days
She has menstrual cramps that aren't relieved by over-the-counter medications
She's soaking more pads or tampons than usual
She's missing school or other activities because of painful or heavy periods
She goes three months without a period or suspects she may be pregnant
She hasn't started menstruating by age 15
Change can be scary
The changes associated with puberty can be a little scary. Reassure your granddaughter that it's normal to feel apprehensive about menstruating, but it's nothing to be too worried about — and you're there to answer any questions she may have.
